Always someone who has it worse

So I spent the last two-weeks in the nut-house. I had a bit of a breakdown, was taken by ambulance to the hospital then admitted to the acute-psych-ward the next day. Only got out yesterday. The psychiatrists and doctors upped my anti-depressant doses whilst I was there and I improved a fair bit. Still not 100%, but much better than I was before. Besides, it will take at least a month for the meds to take full effect.

Still, while I was there, I met so many other people who have it worse than me. Sure, I have severe depression, PTSD (post-traumatic-stress-disorder) and a busted-back, but at least my mental illnesses aren't totally incapacitating. I can still do most normal things, unless I'm having one of my days, which prior to my admission were basically every day. There were people in there who were totally head-screwed - paranoid schizophrenics who would crack it everytime you laughed, thinking it was directed at them, others with depression where medication wouldn't work and who had to go for ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy - or "shock therapy") three times a week... even one guy in there who thought he was God! People in drug-induced-bouts of psychosis and more.

Every day I thought "Thank God I'm not that bad..." but there was also the part of me who thought "Wow. That could be me one day." The guy who thought he was God had hit the drugs pretty hard in his life, which may or may not have been the cause of his delusions. Still, it has made me look at my "lifestyle" in a new light... I really need to give up the drugs. I know why I take them - that is to feel good about myself. But why can't I feel good about myself without them? Well, I now know the answer to that question, and I am now going to finally start addressing the root cause of these problems. Like I said: there's always someone who has it worse!