RIGID

Art classes art going great! I think they will do good for my health. So far I have been somewhat out of my comfort zone most of the time, not really using anything I usually use. For instance, I generally do sketching with greylead. Very rarely do I use colour, and when I do, I usually only use a set of different Derwent pencils and perhaps some pastels... and then there's the computer graphics I make in PhotoShop and Illustrator, which, of course, will not be part of this course at all.

Charcoal. Paint. Ink. Clay. Messy stuff! Things I don't use very much, in the past mostly because it is messy... these days I don't care about mess. Not like I have any new clothes that will get wrecked, and I live in a shitty little flat that I don't care if it gets messy.

I can see I will loosen up a fair bit with the help of this course, which is good. It will help me to be able to actually create some more art! I'm usually too picky and careful. Too rigid. And I hate it. I never used to be this way. I used to be pretty relaxed. These days I haven't been for a while though.

Gone now, however, are the days where I would keep a visual diary and be so anal about it. Either writing notes down roughly in a book then transferring it carefully into my visual diary with only the best of handwriting as though I were making Wedding Invitations, or typing it, printing it and sticking it in. That took too much time! And what about when I had something in class to do? Then I would have to leave some blank pages spare because I couldn't possibly have the dates out of order! Too rigid. Too boring. Too perfect. Too time consuming! It's not supposed to be that way. It's not like my visual diary is a bloody folio - it is just a record of work for my own recollection and reference, duh! Tired tired tired.

I'm forced to work on different techniques instead, which make me evolve into different styles. Stupid art teachers of old... I reckon they haven't done much to help me. I can hear their words now... "No no no, not like that. Look at that nice curve there - you need to bring the leg down more, and look at the expression on her face..." - NO! IT'S NOT MY STYLE!!! And now that's all I have been doing... like I still need to impress you. Well are you happy? For a few years, you've killed my style. I used to have the semi-realistic look, but also heaps of stylized drawings and works of abstract and cubism.