Mass Attendance

I really need to be filled. No more "half-empty glass" syndrome - I want it filled to the brim; overflowing. Lately I've been staying up watching tele until I fall asleep, then I wake up at that hour or two in the morning when the only options to watch is basically infomercials or evangelical-TV. Never been a fan of either, but I've chosen the latter for these early-mornings before "Sunrise" or the "Today" shows.

I'm not as annoyed at evangelical-TV as much anymore... I guess I was just watching the wrong ones! These spoke to me more - Scripture was involved as opposed to some craze guy strutting the stage, talking in riddles, making false promises, creating false hope - basically detracting all the attention from God and putting it all onto himself.

I live just across the road from a Catholic Church and they have weekday mass at 9:30am every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If I wanted to go everyday, then on Tuesday's and Thursday's I could catch a bus into town and go to St. Patrick's. Maybe that will come one day, once I get back into a rhythm of actually going to mass again! Bad me...

Lately I've been reading heaps about things to do with religion, watching religious movies and checking out religious websites. Also downloading religious videos off YouTube and podcasts off iTunes. Still, it is not enough, I hunger to go to mass again! It has been too long - perhaps a month - perhaps a little over? I really don't know, so in other words, too long. Besides, that last time was a funeral not a general mass.

So on Monday I was going to go, but I was crook as. Probably half a Xanax pill I had the day before, on top of a few other things... Endone and Buprenorphine. Wednesday I was still a little crook - a different kind of crook though. Just depressed. Couldn't work up the energy to do anything all day. So tomorrow - tomorrow I will go! Nothing will stop me, unless I get another one of my bouts of depression where I can't do anything... but unlikely, that only happened the other day.

What I envision standing in my way of going tomorrow is sheer laziness. That isn't a good enough excuse though. I will most likely end up waking up (I generally have another sleep around 7am then wake by 9am at the latest) but feel too tired to go... however, I have been out of coffee the last week, and got some today, so that will perk me up! I'm one of those people who really needs his morning coffee and cigarette or else I'm hell!!!

So... Tomorrow... Over the road... Mass... Better be there!!!