Reading this article, I recall a book I picked up at St. Patrick's Church, Albury, a few years ago, about "pain, suffering" and "why". It certainly opened my eyes back then, but I soon forgot all about it, preferring the easy way out with drugs. Understand that the heavy-pain-killers of the opiod-variety don't actually get rid of pain, unlike analgesics (eg; Paracetamol / Ibuprofen). Simply put, they just make you "not give a shit". The pain is still there, you feel it somewhat, but the way the opiods react with your body, it hits the brain as opposed to the area of pain. Then, you are just in a nice, relaxed stupor, not caring about the pain - but on the same token, often not caring about anyone or anything else other than your next dose of pills.
Those who are unaware, I was in a pretty serious car accident in the Melbourne CBD back in 2005. I am still on opiods (OxyCodone, common brand names include "OxyContin"). Quite an evil drug really as I have grown an addiction to it, now the doctors feel it is time to slowly ween off them, but I find it hard as I am well and truly addicted - you have to be after taking them for five-years!
This is all part my fault, but also the fault of previous doctors I have had. Doctors who like to simply write scripts, ask you the same thing everytime - basically the ones who don't give a damn about you, they just give you what you want, as opposed to what you need. I now have doctors with a much more holistic approach, who actually care, who talk to me and want to know how things in my life are going. They know I suffer from severe-depression and PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) so this counselling nature they use with me is much needed and greatly appreciated. Even the times I make a short consultation just to get a script, not having anything to talk about, they still talk to me and care about what I am doing. They don't need to look up my file to know my name, what I do et-cetera - they remember. I am glad that God led me to these doctors!
However, I need the strength to kick this habit with the medication - I am the best I will ever get after the number of years and different procedures I have had on my spine to stop the pain. I'm not going to get any less pain than I have, and in all seriousness, I have somewhat adapted to this pain, like it is something I always had.
After reading the above mentioned article, it got me thinking back to that little book - do I still have it? I wish I were more like the late, Great Pope John-Paul II. Being shot, suffering a number of illnesses, yet still, in the face of all that pain, which over time only deteriorated his body, thus giving him more pain, he still never asked for painkillers or sedatives. I on the other hand am still young - I have the ability to "bounce back" better than a well-travelled old Pope, but still I take these drugs!
One thing I have always remembered from that book, however, is that suffering and pain is a normal part of life, and when we experience it ourselves, it brings us closer to Jesus. He was whipped, humiliated, dragged through the streets with His cross in-tow, eventually nailed to it with a crown of thorns atop His head, then stabbed in the side with a spear. THAT is pain. THAT is suffering... and for what? Was He a criminal? No - He did it for us - He could have stopped it, but He did what His will was on earth, which certainly wasn't to join in league with Satan.
I find that nice in a way - I suffer, I'm in pain, but ultimately, it should bring me closer to Jesus.
That's a lesson that's hard to accept and hard to learn. I'm still learning it, in fact! I too struggle with emotional problems, as you have. At times I find myself wanting to get angry at God for my problems. Then I remember that God's response to the human condition was to become human Himself and enter into our suffering.
ReplyDeleteJohn Paul II apparently was made of some pretty tough stuff! I don't think I could have or would have refused pain medication the way he did.
Thanks for the post!
Evan
Davie, I am a chronic pain patient, too. Depression is a natural accompaniment to pain because pain creates serious imbalances in the body. I beat the depression with supplements, especially with Vitamins D, the B vites and iodine, and unless I'm desperate, I won't take pain meds. They mess with the brain. So I offer up all my pain and suffering for souls. Just what Our Lady of Fatima pleaded for. God has a special job for you in this life. That is why He is allowing you to suffer - to conform yourself to Christ on the Cross. God boxes us in so we won't hurt ourselves. If we try to punch out of the box, we get into trouble. Drugs are a way to punch out of the box. But then, there we are, stuck again and in worse shape. I like one of the 12 step rules - "Let go (stop trying to do it all by ourselves) and let God (the One with all the power.)" We can never love ourselves as much as He loves us. Cheers and may Our Lady protect you and Jesus walk by your side.
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