Put it on the CROSS

Addiction sure is one bitch to get over. "I'll just have two" you say to yourself, knowing that is fine. But it gives you that nice, slight tingle all over your body. No sooner have you finished the ritual, you either decide on two more straight after, or ten-minutes later. Either way, you have more, because you can always feel even better. Then it snowballs until you have none - then what do you do? Either hang out for a week - a week of cramps, physical and psychological pain and torment, nightmares, sweats, chills... just to name a few. Either that, or you go off sniffing about the black market, around unsavoury type of people, which also ends up costing you an arm and a leg.

It is time. Time to beat this affliction. Time to realise that I can't do this on my own. Time to put it on the cross. If I keep going on the way I have been, then basically, Jesus' death was in vain. The pain he went through in order to save ME was simply pointless - nails hammered through his hands and feet, thorns digging into his crown, the burning pain of whips across his back, the heavy weight of the cross he carried... "Why did I do this for you?" He would be saying.

This Lenten season, I am going to make the time - even if I have to go out of my way or go without doing certain other things - in order to spend some time with Jesus. Spend some time with Him in private at home. Some time with Him inside of me as I partake of His Body and Blood. Some time kneeling before His glorious Body in the form of Adoration. Then some more time with Him just inside my own head throughout the day.

If anyone can help me help myself, it is Jesus. I need to stop believing in myself that I can do it on my own, because I know I cannot. I need to start putting it on the cross - offering my pain and sufferings, also my pleasure and good works - up to Him on His cross as he looks down at me, arms spread to embrace me, head tilted down to kiss me and heart protruding full of love.