JUNKY

Look at all those boxes... Valium, Endone, OxyNorm, OxyContin... These are things I have been constantly taking for the last four years because of the car-accident. Sure, it was good to start with - "Wow I get OxyCodone and Valium! Yay!"

Little did I know that I would soon be hooked on it, needing it to function properly. It sucks. Then, I run out, I go to see my GP and find she is away. What to do? See another doctor at the same clinic and get evil looks from them like I'm a junky? Go to A&E and get the same treatment but come out at the end of it with some 'scripts? Ring up the After Hours Clinic and get the same treatment yet again but not get any? Decisions decisions... A&E it is, or was yesterday rather.

Why do doctors look at you like you are the scum of the universe when you are on these such medications? It's not like I'm the little fuck who tried to hold up the pharmacy last week with a syringe full Hepatitis infected blood demanding OxyContin for my drug-fucked girlfriend - I am on these medications for LEGITIMATE reasons, and really, they are a very very very low dose considering the circumstances...

I have known people to be on 80mg OxyContin for a sprained leg! I have a fucking fractured SPINE and I am only on TEN MILLIGRAMS!!! I have severe depression, anxiety, P.T.S.D (post traumatic stress disorder) and insomnia yet I am only on 5mg of Valium!

Sure these drugs do what they are supposed to, but they are too damn addictive... I am hooked now and if I go without, my day is hell... each and every day I go without makes me more and more angsty, wanting to just end it. Withdrawal - sweating, shaking, goosbumps - I look like a damn junky coming off heroin for fucks sake!

Thank God I have FINALLY found a decent GP. One who actually cares. One who is against these drugs, but still prescribes them because of my addiction, but supporting me by helping to ween me off them. She doesn't just write scripts willy-nilly like GPs have done in the past... go in Friday and get some, then again on Monday without question - THAT IS WRONG. And you know what is even MORE wrong? Suddenly cutting my supply when they FINALLY start to actually do their job, seeing that I should have 240 pills left... and not having any... because he was a shit arse GP.

This is all in my Victim Impact Statement... how it has fucked me up in many ways including making me a drug addict...

Sentencing is next, but the fuck will get a pretty lenient sentence if you ask me... I have lost ALL faith in the legal system and the State all together... I can see that my dreams will be reckoned one day - that of being an ex-pat. Fuck this country and it's crap sentencing...